Get It Right!

Here’s a really simple guide for people who get confused about Britain and Ireland.

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For those finding it difficult to understand my appalling diction here’s a transcript:
“It drives me crazy when Americans think Ireland is in the UK! How can they not get it right?! It’s very simple…
There’s just two islands: Britain and Ireland which collectively are sometimes called the British Isles although only one of them is British and that’s Britain.
The island of Ireland consists of the Republic of Ireland — which is often just called Ireland — and Northern Ireland — which is often just called the North which is different from the North in Britain which is the North of England which is south of Scotland, which together with Wales make up the island of Britain — which is also often called Great Britain which is short for Greater Britain which differentiates it from Lesser Britain which is now called Brittany and is in France.
The one country called the United Kingdom is made up of the four countries England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland which collectively are sometimes also called the one country of Britain.
There’s conflict in Northern Ireland because some of the people consider themselves British even though they’re not in Britain by which we mean the island of Britain and not the country and some consider themselves Irish even though they’re not in Ireland by which we mean the country of Ireland not the island.
The UK is one country in the Olympics, four countries in the football and three and a half in the rugby. Whereas Ireland plays against itself in football, together in rugby and all over the shop in the Gaelic (which is a sport and not a language, thank you very much).
And that’s how it is. Commit it to memory. Until it changes. Because there’s some who want a united Ireland, a separate Scotland and Britain out of Europe. But apart from all that it’s very simple.”

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